landwehr maternity shoot {sneak peek}

i got to do another maternity shoot yesterday, which was a lot of fun. a lot of my friends have had babies recently, so you'd think i'd be used to preggy people, but it's still not the easiest thing for me to pose women with gigantic bellies, and understand that simple things like getting up and sitting down are not so easy :)

here are a couple of shots of bronwyn & greg, who are 31 weeks pregnant. the weather was so mercurial throughout the day -- i often found myself looking up to a sky of black rainclouds. but the weather cleared and the light was amazing. 

my fave has to be the photo with the "made in germany" barcode -- germany is where their baby girl was conceived :)

it's really cool to be a part of such exciting times in people's lives. 

x

lawrence family shoot

i've never done a maternity shoot before, so this was a combination of an experiment / baby shower gift for my friends justin, christy and their son mark. christy is about 33ish weeks pregnant with a boy -- we've been waiting a long time for little evan :)

it helps having such a ridiculously good looking family to photograph {and a glowing mom-to-be}, but i think the fact that we had a lot of fun also comes through in the pics x

remembering

mother's day has a different kind of meaning for our family. my grandmother passed away when my mom was only seven years old, and every mother's day we visit west park cemetery to put flowers on her grave. we also visit my great-grandfather's gravesite too, they are buried not far from each other.

it's quite surreal honouring someone you never knew. i often wish my grandmother had lived into my lifetime so that i could have clear memories of her, instead of ones filtered through someone else's foggy recollections. i know her name was beryl davidson, and she was super sporty. she also was an incredible seamstress and made all my mother's dresses. i've seen photos of her, and she looked like a lot of fun, despite suffering with ill-health. she died at age 39 from heart disease, only ten years older than i am now. i wonder what her voice sounded like, what kind of jokes she would find funny. what her cooking would taste like. what her signature perfume would be. i can imagine, but it's not the same.

when my mom and i stand at her tombstone, i do mourn for her. it's the strangest feeling. it also makes me think about my legacy. and how incredibly grateful i am to have my mom with me, and such an integral part of my life. our relationship, while not without its challenges, is so fulfilling. 

it's quite redemptive in a way.

hello little olive bun

i was so privileged to spend the morning with the practically brand new {5 day old} olivia van lieshout who was born to two wonderful parents, gary and chelsea, this last week. 

they were gracious enough to let me take some pics, and i am completely in awe of this beautiful little babe. chels fell pregnant while i was in the states, and there was a possibility i would not have been back for her birth, but i am so glad that i am back home, and that i get to witness this lovely little baby grow into a beautiful little girl and more.

congratulations gaz and chels, you could not be more blessed. love love love x

{belated} birthday love

there's nothing quite like getting a parcel from home. it reminds you that even though you are far away, you kind of never really are too far from people who love you. 

so i have some birthday love from johannesburg and cape town, south africa. and the words in the cards were so special. despite the delay in postage, the timing could not have been better than today x

eleven from '10

every year i write myself a letter. i wrote my first letter in 1997 when i was 15. i did not fully comprehend the significance of that year, until much later. 2006 in fact. i know this because it’s all recorded in A4 lined pages of my own handwriting. no one has ever read these letters. they are by far the most honest, intimate and victorious accounts of the last 13 years of my life. there have been many moments of wisdom in letters from 7 years ago, that offer me comfort and solutions to problems i face now. it’s pretty weird :)

there are some rules. i seal them for a full year. they have to be in my own writing, not typed and printed. i write as if no one will ever read them {i once wrote a letter as if i were writing for someone else to read -- it was pretty insincere and lifeless. the best letters are the no-holds-barred ones}. people who hurt me only get one line. this is to remind me that you can never avoid heartache, but you should never dwell on it.

so i won’t ever publish my letters, i will most likely take them to my grave with me, but i will post eleven lessons from 2010 that i included in my letter from last year:

one. i can survive cancer scares, scathing rumours, heartbreak, loss, smash & grabs, retrenchments, bad bosses and being on my own.
two. my hair does not have to be perfect all the time {it looks better when it’s not}.
three. family is the most important and profound human connection we have on this planet.
four. perception is reality. if you are a hammer, everything is a nail. it just sucks when you’re the nail.
five. it is the worst betrayal when people i trust let me down. but i will continue to trust anyway.
six. exercise is the best vitamin/medicine/pick me up/sleeping pill/energy tonic.
seven. i don’t always have to have a plan. i need to be less boring and predictable. i have to make more mistakes and take more risks. life will be more fun that way.
eight. i need to work on my self-perception. getting older helps with this, you stress less about the lame stuff.
nine. GOD will never give up on me. He fights for me each day and loves me fiercely. His love changes me. if i ever truly understood it, i would live differently.
ten. my close friends are the most valuable asset i have in my life. i am in awe of their love and support in my darkest moments. they keep me sane and humble and able to laugh through tears.
eleven. everyone has a story. we just need to stop and listen to it. there is a magic in storytelling, the real kind. fairy tales have nothing on real life.

2010 may have left me bruised, but not broken. 2010 was a year of coming apart, falling away, a “tearing”. 2011 will be a year of “convergence”, seeing a bigger plan come together in a big way. to adventures and memoirs and stories i will tell my grandchildren -- and they will look up at me in disbelief and say “no way, gran, you were super cool when you were younger”.

that’s all
x

_2010 in pictures_136 seconds of memories

{you can click on the image to enlarge it, and then zoom in for a closer look}

18 month old giggles

there is just something about a child's laughter and joy in little things that fascinates me. this photo was taken today when my cousin david started blowing bubbles at ciaran, my other cousin's 18 month old son. hands down, totally unbiased, this is the cutest kid in the world.

fact.