eleven from '10

every year i write myself a letter. i wrote my first letter in 1997 when i was 15. i did not fully comprehend the significance of that year, until much later. 2006 in fact. i know this because it’s all recorded in A4 lined pages of my own handwriting. no one has ever read these letters. they are by far the most honest, intimate and victorious accounts of the last 13 years of my life. there have been many moments of wisdom in letters from 7 years ago, that offer me comfort and solutions to problems i face now. it’s pretty weird :)

there are some rules. i seal them for a full year. they have to be in my own writing, not typed and printed. i write as if no one will ever read them {i once wrote a letter as if i were writing for someone else to read -- it was pretty insincere and lifeless. the best letters are the no-holds-barred ones}. people who hurt me only get one line. this is to remind me that you can never avoid heartache, but you should never dwell on it.

so i won’t ever publish my letters, i will most likely take them to my grave with me, but i will post eleven lessons from 2010 that i included in my letter from last year:

one. i can survive cancer scares, scathing rumours, heartbreak, loss, smash & grabs, retrenchments, bad bosses and being on my own.
two. my hair does not have to be perfect all the time {it looks better when it’s not}.
three. family is the most important and profound human connection we have on this planet.
four. perception is reality. if you are a hammer, everything is a nail. it just sucks when you’re the nail.
five. it is the worst betrayal when people i trust let me down. but i will continue to trust anyway.
six. exercise is the best vitamin/medicine/pick me up/sleeping pill/energy tonic.
seven. i don’t always have to have a plan. i need to be less boring and predictable. i have to make more mistakes and take more risks. life will be more fun that way.
eight. i need to work on my self-perception. getting older helps with this, you stress less about the lame stuff.
nine. GOD will never give up on me. He fights for me each day and loves me fiercely. His love changes me. if i ever truly understood it, i would live differently.
ten. my close friends are the most valuable asset i have in my life. i am in awe of their love and support in my darkest moments. they keep me sane and humble and able to laugh through tears.
eleven. everyone has a story. we just need to stop and listen to it. there is a magic in storytelling, the real kind. fairy tales have nothing on real life.

2010 may have left me bruised, but not broken. 2010 was a year of coming apart, falling away, a “tearing”. 2011 will be a year of “convergence”, seeing a bigger plan come together in a big way. to adventures and memoirs and stories i will tell my grandchildren -- and they will look up at me in disbelief and say “no way, gran, you were super cool when you were younger”.

that’s all
x